As I warned myself & others warned me. If he would lie to her; he would lie to me.

I knew something was wrong for a couple of weeks, but couldn't get him to talk as much, which was a symptom that something was wrong, too.

He told me he was giving up the rented house so that he & I could afford life together better. See each other more, have less debt, etc. He was going to see about renting from my mom & work off part of the rent instead of $. But then he changed that into just moving into the semi-abandoned farm house he stayed in last winter.

His stories about where he was sleeping during the moving process had holes & contradictions. Then Monday night his eldest daughter texted me & asked what our status was. I told her that if he was living w/ wife we were over. If he was at that farmhouse, even then I wasn't positive cuz he wasn't giving me updates either.

Yesterday, Tuesday their pastor called me on my cell phone during school. Wife got my number off her home phone, but didn't call it herself. Asked pastor to confirm whether it was a contractor or not like FBE told her it was. Pastor told me FBE had moved back in w/ wife & was blowin on her in church like she was his best gal.

FBE tried calling while I talked to pastor. I texted him that I was talking to pastor. FBE & I talked afterwards. He tried to tell me he was just doing it for short term so he wouldn't get screwed in the divorce. He tried to tell me about how he needed to avoid alimony & extra child support he couldn't afford. He tried to tell me it was so we could be together in the long run. I just pointed out that he lied to me & that he knew how I would feel about him living with her.

Later he texted "lets just call it quits." I already had taken off the ring. It's a pretty ring.

We texted during school & talked afterwards. He still loves me he says, but he wants his kids too. He doesn't know how to have both.

I've told him & his daughter that its over, but if/when he changes his mind & has nothing to lie about, he knows how to find me.

I want wife to know the extent of the lies he told her.
I need to figure out what to do with his clothes & stuff.
I just tried to shut off his credit card on the account we shared, which is technically only in my name. For some reason they can't guarantee that he can't use it any more.

Damn it. I broke every common sense rule. Every common sense rule that every woman knows. I thought it didn't apply to us.

I can't eat. I can't sleep & I can't cry enough.

& I saw it coming. I knew something was wrong. I felt the lies of omission, heard the evasions. I know how he made moving to the farmhouse not a real lie to himself. He did move stuff back into it that he took from it. He just didn't move himself there.

I told him in a text last week when he wouldn't answer the phone, that I had watched him for a year avoid her calls, & delay responding to her texts, tell her 1/2 truths. I told him I noticed him doing it to me & it made me worry.

May you remember common sense & trust your instincts. Don't tell the rules & your guts that they are wrong. Listen. God gave us a brain & intuition for a reason. Use them.