Branching out a bit:
I started a new blog. Mama's Make-do Recipes here on blogspot.
It will take me a while to get the full menu going, but with my kids & friends asking for recipes... it's the easiest idea I could come up with. It may even help me since some of my cards & pieces of papers are getting worn & tattered.
I wish blogspot didn't archive by date. I would much prefer categories, & being able to cross reference easily. But for now, this is what my techno skills (or lack there of) is capable of.
__________
On the personal front.
April 8. That is the newly projected freedom date for FBE.
AARRGH! Need I say more? No.
But I did create a 7 page letter to his stubborn wife who believe it or not is still telling the preacher to tell FBE that reconciliation is still an option. FBE keeps telling HER & the preacher that it is NOT an option for him. (Hooray!)
Will SHE ever receive this letter? I think so. I never say that I am the other woman. I never get real bitchy either. I only reveal information about HER life that could easily be common knowledge in that small town. I tell HER about some things SHE & I have in common. I tell HER some things I've learned about men & women during my life. I tell HER some details about Christianity that SHE seems to have forgotten in her life... forgiveness being the biggy.
Yes, I know some of you might remind me that the Bible tells us that by marrying FBE I'll be committing adultery, but some of you may have guessed I quit worrying about that label about a year ago, when I became attracted to Flirty.
(WHO by the way turns out to have gotten married in MARCH of 2006, just weeks after calling me his Dulcinea, & inviting me for motorcycle rides & massages. THE LIAR...if his "circumstances were different." Boy, is that a euphemism for "I got married." But he's still a good friend; go figure that out. Remember, I knew it would not work out. I could not see us in a long term "relationship." Some benefits to the friendship crossed my mind. And I had that dream that to this day puzzles me, but I never called what I felt for him being in love. And after he showed me his tattoos & the 60 year old body parts/limbs underneath them, it wasn't very lusty either; though I will admit there was some-- probably due to my long term celibacy, and his sexual innuendoes, jokes & compliments. Plus, he is a fun & caring man, but by golly he really needs to lay off the chaw--- ew yuck.)
Any way.
I sent a copy of the letter to HER to FBE to preview. I'll let him veto parts of it, but I will fight a veto of the whole thing. I will mail it w/o return address from the small town the next time I'm there, which might be this weekend. If I don't go, it is because he is going to a 4-H camp with his kids. If I do go, it means he swapped weekends w/ HER.
We've been weighing the benefits of the child custody arrangements. If we have our kids on the same weekends, then it is less likely that we will see each other every weekend. But we will have time for total privacy & intimacy and conversely time for all the kids to get to know each other better. If we have our kids on opposite weekends, then it leaves one of us always free to travel to see the other & practice step-parenting roles. This means we can see each other every weekend. But then we have almost no privacy or intimacy, comparatively. (Never fear we are used to being parents & have some solutions to this.) The "whole clan" opportunities will then be only on holidays if we can get HER to agree to letting the holiday schedule for FBE be like mine is & HERs being like the EX's is.
Oh, did I tell you that SHE lost her job? Yup. Now, you might think that since SHE is unemployed that SHE'll quit making the divorce last longer to save some money, BUT NO. HER daddy is paying all of the lawyer bills, and he is wealthy. FBE is not. He's basically tapped out. He must either start using credit cards, borrow from friends, or quit the fight.
I told him that if the kids wanted HER to have mostly full custody instead of wanting him to have mostly full custody, then Ok, I'd let him quit the fight. I also would probably really slow our relationship down... if it had even gotten this far if they had that attitude. BUT since they WANT FBE & not HER to have the most custody. HE must fight on. He is only asking for the 50/50 standard of this state. I even offered to give or loan him some money. He says he doesn't need it, yet. And doesn't want to ever need it. Once we're married, then we can share money, but before then, NO. We do take turns sharing expenses though. He has some money due him, that he expected in Dec/January... he figures it can't be too much longer before it comes his way.
I know. I know. I can hear some of you wondering why I would ever think to loan him money. Well, I love his kids & him. He never asked for it. I got help during my divorce. He has no relatives that can help him, and his other best friends are having job & money problems.
I have my head above water... not out of debt true... but I can swim now instead of just treading water or panicking. My debt water is becoming more shallow cuz I've paid it down, and I also got some debt moved again to a new 0% card before the old card started charging me interest. Unfortuately the car wreck, taxes and Christmas increased the debt. Losing 4 days of pay cuz of Dad's death certainly hurt too. But extra duty ( department chair, class sponsor & maybe some debate) pay is due to me this month, & we'll see what kind of dent I can put into the debt. I've got a year before I have to have it paid off before getting charged interest, almost 1 1/2 years for some of it. So I will just start wittling away at it again.
Financially speaking, paying for a wedding would be smarter in 2009 than 2008. But...
Of course to listen to all three of my kids, I shouldn't even marry until Youngest is out of high school in 2012. I very much feel the strong urge to quote the Youngest, "I am the boss of me, not you!" ...at the top of my lungs like he did a few years ago.
My eyes are blurring & I should go put supper away.
May you always have a clear vision of your future.
Take care,
Pete
It will take me a while to get the full menu going, but with my kids & friends asking for recipes... it's the easiest idea I could come up with. It may even help me since some of my cards & pieces of papers are getting worn & tattered.
I wish blogspot didn't archive by date. I would much prefer categories, & being able to cross reference easily. But for now, this is what my techno skills (or lack there of) is capable of.
__________
On the personal front.
April 8. That is the newly projected freedom date for FBE.
AARRGH! Need I say more? No.
But I did create a 7 page letter to his stubborn wife who believe it or not is still telling the preacher to tell FBE that reconciliation is still an option. FBE keeps telling HER & the preacher that it is NOT an option for him. (Hooray!)
Will SHE ever receive this letter? I think so. I never say that I am the other woman. I never get real bitchy either. I only reveal information about HER life that could easily be common knowledge in that small town. I tell HER about some things SHE & I have in common. I tell HER some things I've learned about men & women during my life. I tell HER some details about Christianity that SHE seems to have forgotten in her life... forgiveness being the biggy.
Yes, I know some of you might remind me that the Bible tells us that by marrying FBE I'll be committing adultery, but some of you may have guessed I quit worrying about that label about a year ago, when I became attracted to Flirty.
(WHO by the way turns out to have gotten married in MARCH of 2006, just weeks after calling me his Dulcinea, & inviting me for motorcycle rides & massages. THE LIAR...if his "circumstances were different." Boy, is that a euphemism for "I got married." But he's still a good friend; go figure that out. Remember, I knew it would not work out. I could not see us in a long term "relationship." Some benefits to the friendship crossed my mind. And I had that dream that to this day puzzles me, but I never called what I felt for him being in love. And after he showed me his tattoos & the 60 year old body parts/limbs underneath them, it wasn't very lusty either; though I will admit there was some-- probably due to my long term celibacy, and his sexual innuendoes, jokes & compliments. Plus, he is a fun & caring man, but by golly he really needs to lay off the chaw--- ew yuck.)
Any way.
I sent a copy of the letter to HER to FBE to preview. I'll let him veto parts of it, but I will fight a veto of the whole thing. I will mail it w/o return address from the small town the next time I'm there, which might be this weekend. If I don't go, it is because he is going to a 4-H camp with his kids. If I do go, it means he swapped weekends w/ HER.
We've been weighing the benefits of the child custody arrangements. If we have our kids on the same weekends, then it is less likely that we will see each other every weekend. But we will have time for total privacy & intimacy and conversely time for all the kids to get to know each other better. If we have our kids on opposite weekends, then it leaves one of us always free to travel to see the other & practice step-parenting roles. This means we can see each other every weekend. But then we have almost no privacy or intimacy, comparatively. (Never fear we are used to being parents & have some solutions to this.) The "whole clan" opportunities will then be only on holidays if we can get HER to agree to letting the holiday schedule for FBE be like mine is & HERs being like the EX's is.
Oh, did I tell you that SHE lost her job? Yup. Now, you might think that since SHE is unemployed that SHE'll quit making the divorce last longer to save some money, BUT NO. HER daddy is paying all of the lawyer bills, and he is wealthy. FBE is not. He's basically tapped out. He must either start using credit cards, borrow from friends, or quit the fight.
I told him that if the kids wanted HER to have mostly full custody instead of wanting him to have mostly full custody, then Ok, I'd let him quit the fight. I also would probably really slow our relationship down... if it had even gotten this far if they had that attitude. BUT since they WANT FBE & not HER to have the most custody. HE must fight on. He is only asking for the 50/50 standard of this state. I even offered to give or loan him some money. He says he doesn't need it, yet. And doesn't want to ever need it. Once we're married, then we can share money, but before then, NO. We do take turns sharing expenses though. He has some money due him, that he expected in Dec/January... he figures it can't be too much longer before it comes his way.
I know. I know. I can hear some of you wondering why I would ever think to loan him money. Well, I love his kids & him. He never asked for it. I got help during my divorce. He has no relatives that can help him, and his other best friends are having job & money problems.
I have my head above water... not out of debt true... but I can swim now instead of just treading water or panicking. My debt water is becoming more shallow cuz I've paid it down, and I also got some debt moved again to a new 0% card before the old card started charging me interest. Unfortuately the car wreck, taxes and Christmas increased the debt. Losing 4 days of pay cuz of Dad's death certainly hurt too. But extra duty ( department chair, class sponsor & maybe some debate) pay is due to me this month, & we'll see what kind of dent I can put into the debt. I've got a year before I have to have it paid off before getting charged interest, almost 1 1/2 years for some of it. So I will just start wittling away at it again.
Financially speaking, paying for a wedding would be smarter in 2009 than 2008. But...
Of course to listen to all three of my kids, I shouldn't even marry until Youngest is out of high school in 2012. I very much feel the strong urge to quote the Youngest, "I am the boss of me, not you!" ...at the top of my lungs like he did a few years ago.
My eyes are blurring & I should go put supper away.
May you always have a clear vision of your future.
Take care,
Pete
posted by Pete | 6:44 PM
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