Dear Ones,
Busy, busy, busy still. Middle son's graduation from junior high, & formal dinner/dance done. Eldest daughter's graduation PARTY, done. Basic syllabus for the Advanced Placement Audit, done. Prom pictures back; almost 99% correct & handed out--Done.
Tomorrow--- my school's graduation, cleaning chores, daughter working 8 hours for PAY;
Sunday --- my daughter's actual graduation, & the minister's last sermon & dinner with relatives & the ex.
Monday -- custody of kids legally, but nothing actually truly planned, because I forgot I had custody... I'm so used to giving them up on Sunday's, I forgot it was a holiday. I want to plan SOMETHING. I am selfish & want them to myself.
Before Tuesday--- put in attendance & grades for students; then the last 11 days will be a BREEZE of faking it & just accepting late work. My students will learn & do work... but white boards, discussions, presentations... nothing new to actually GRADE... OK, I lie. My AP class has written analysis of novels to turn in.... but there are so few of them now with the seniors gone...It will be easy.
Though none of you have posted your advice, yet. Some did e-mail me. But an interesting conversation happened that I must relate.
Wednesday when I was in class, Flirty called me & it was not about a student, or to find out if the page for me to go to the office meant I was in trouble. No. He asked if I was coming to his room at lunch. If it were alright, I probably would... well, he wanted to apologize to me. He thought perhaps some of the things he had said were inappropriate. It had bugged him all night. I told him that he had said nothing that needed to be apologized for, but it was about time that one of our conversations kept him up all night, instead of me. I told him I would come up & we would try to talk then since I was technically teaching at that moment.
So I went to his room for lunch time. The usual chess crowd was there. Eventually, they had to go to class, but I did not. This time as students came & tried to get him to do things for them, he told them to come back later. Usually he just takes care of business, and lets them interrupt. So we talk between pseudo interruptions. At one point he said something totally innocent in context to some one, but my brain went to the gutter,, but I was silent as children & others were around.. He noticed, but didn't comment. Then he had a phone call & he was concluding it when he said, to the person on the other end, "I don't miss a lick." If any one else had been in the room they could have told that my mind went way down into the gutter, without knowing me. He of course saw my thought, but had to finish the call. When he was done he asked what I had thought... & what was it that made me think it? I told him his line, but not my thought, which since I did not share with him, I won't with you either
But anyway. He asked, " Why won't you share your ideas... are you not a woman who is now able to speak her mind?" My brain thinks quickly... is he still reading my blog??? or did I finally say this out loud to him sometime? My reply, "There are times in a relationship when a boundary has been established that makes some comments inappropriate." He then asked, "What boundary did you create?" "None. I have created no boundaries in our relationship." "Me? What boundary did I create?" he asked. I said, "You created a boundary when you said that you have a lady friend." "oh." "Now, if that boundary were to cease to exist, I would tell you about many more thoughts that I have had about you." Contemplative look comes across his face... then a teacher walks in asking to use his microwave. She never left, until the bell rang & I had to leave, too.
& that is the story of our conversations. Bells, people, jobs. Thursday I was gone. Today/ Friday he was gone. Last I knew he was flying to Myrtle Beach this weekend. I always had the impression it was with the lady friend, but he never came out & said so. He only mentioned the trip once a long time ago. And he is a very private person. He just doesn't ramble on about his life like ... me. But he talks enough you get to know his values, if you listen. For all his Flirty ways, and tattoos & Harley riding, he is very caring, Christian, and well educated with a very wide variety of experiences. Down to only one thing about him I don't like. The chewin' tobacco. He used to say he was giving it up & just tucking in mint tea... but when I called him on that, he said, "Well, it sounded good at the time." He does agree it is a nasty habit, & he won't fight a woman about the issue. But it doesn't look like he'll give it up for her either.
Oh, well. 11 days of school left. Maybe just maybe we can have one finished conversation of importance.
May the Lord guide you in knowing what's worth fighting for, and what's not, and help you to have the conversations you need to have.
Love to you all,
Pete
Busy, busy, busy still. Middle son's graduation from junior high, & formal dinner/dance done. Eldest daughter's graduation PARTY, done. Basic syllabus for the Advanced Placement Audit, done. Prom pictures back; almost 99% correct & handed out--Done.
Tomorrow--- my school's graduation, cleaning chores, daughter working 8 hours for PAY;
Sunday --- my daughter's actual graduation, & the minister's last sermon & dinner with relatives & the ex.
Monday -- custody of kids legally, but nothing actually truly planned, because I forgot I had custody... I'm so used to giving them up on Sunday's, I forgot it was a holiday. I want to plan SOMETHING. I am selfish & want them to myself.
Before Tuesday--- put in attendance & grades for students; then the last 11 days will be a BREEZE of faking it & just accepting late work. My students will learn & do work... but white boards, discussions, presentations... nothing new to actually GRADE... OK, I lie. My AP class has written analysis of novels to turn in.... but there are so few of them now with the seniors gone...It will be easy.
Though none of you have posted your advice, yet. Some did e-mail me. But an interesting conversation happened that I must relate.
Wednesday when I was in class, Flirty called me & it was not about a student, or to find out if the page for me to go to the office meant I was in trouble. No. He asked if I was coming to his room at lunch. If it were alright, I probably would... well, he wanted to apologize to me. He thought perhaps some of the things he had said were inappropriate. It had bugged him all night. I told him that he had said nothing that needed to be apologized for, but it was about time that one of our conversations kept him up all night, instead of me. I told him I would come up & we would try to talk then since I was technically teaching at that moment.
So I went to his room for lunch time. The usual chess crowd was there. Eventually, they had to go to class, but I did not. This time as students came & tried to get him to do things for them, he told them to come back later. Usually he just takes care of business, and lets them interrupt. So we talk between pseudo interruptions. At one point he said something totally innocent in context to some one, but my brain went to the gutter,, but I was silent as children & others were around.. He noticed, but didn't comment. Then he had a phone call & he was concluding it when he said, to the person on the other end, "I don't miss a lick." If any one else had been in the room they could have told that my mind went way down into the gutter, without knowing me. He of course saw my thought, but had to finish the call. When he was done he asked what I had thought... & what was it that made me think it? I told him his line, but not my thought, which since I did not share with him, I won't with you either
But anyway. He asked, " Why won't you share your ideas... are you not a woman who is now able to speak her mind?" My brain thinks quickly... is he still reading my blog??? or did I finally say this out loud to him sometime? My reply, "There are times in a relationship when a boundary has been established that makes some comments inappropriate." He then asked, "What boundary did you create?" "None. I have created no boundaries in our relationship." "Me? What boundary did I create?" he asked. I said, "You created a boundary when you said that you have a lady friend." "oh." "Now, if that boundary were to cease to exist, I would tell you about many more thoughts that I have had about you." Contemplative look comes across his face... then a teacher walks in asking to use his microwave. She never left, until the bell rang & I had to leave, too.
& that is the story of our conversations. Bells, people, jobs. Thursday I was gone. Today/ Friday he was gone. Last I knew he was flying to Myrtle Beach this weekend. I always had the impression it was with the lady friend, but he never came out & said so. He only mentioned the trip once a long time ago. And he is a very private person. He just doesn't ramble on about his life like ... me. But he talks enough you get to know his values, if you listen. For all his Flirty ways, and tattoos & Harley riding, he is very caring, Christian, and well educated with a very wide variety of experiences. Down to only one thing about him I don't like. The chewin' tobacco. He used to say he was giving it up & just tucking in mint tea... but when I called him on that, he said, "Well, it sounded good at the time." He does agree it is a nasty habit, & he won't fight a woman about the issue. But it doesn't look like he'll give it up for her either.
Oh, well. 11 days of school left. Maybe just maybe we can have one finished conversation of importance.
May the Lord guide you in knowing what's worth fighting for, and what's not, and help you to have the conversations you need to have.
Love to you all,
Pete
posted by Pete | 9:29 PM
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