Hey folks,

I guess my last few entries have been too long & too boring for any comments... ah, that's been my life. Except recently.

On the 4th two friends from work & I went to a place called "Funky Town." It is a dance club/disco whatever they are called now for old fogies like us. On the 4th we could not tempt men into asking us to dance, but the only married lady did attract the craziest as in uninhibited male dancer there. It was so much fun that on the 18th two of us went back. The married lady was going to come, but had to do mom things. It was again fun.

I even got to dance with a male... ok, old enough he can be called a man. From the finger holding up during loud music he could be anywhere between 51 & 66 years old. ( I have forgotten the order even though I only drank water.) & Polite enough I could even give him the possibility of being a gentleman. He looks like an older version of my first boyfriend ever... except shorter. Turns out "Budd" is "ex military"... Ray was just doing a 4 year stint.

I could make a short list of positives about Budd, but let me just say this: I don't want a guy who falls in love after 2 dances that he mostly spent watching my pelvis move. AND I would prefer to dance with some one who hears the faster beat & rhythm to music versus the slower rhythms. I have never danced so slow to fast music before in my life. I don't even know if I've danced that slow to slow music. No, he wasn't one of those slow dancers who just presses his body against you and barely moves. He was too gentlemanly for that. I could not find his beat/rhythm. I tried. I used to be able to match any guy's dancing... but this I could not do. He kept telling me to relax... I told him I was slow dancing for the first time in about 20 years. He said, "Let me drive" because I must have been leading, so I replied, "Then drive!" because he wasn't leading. Later he asked if he was barking up the wrong tree; I replied, "I didn't know I was a tree."

He tried to give me a condensed version of his life w/ his phone number. He asked only that I call if I come again to the place. He's nice enough I wouldn't mind talking or dancing with him again, so I accepted the number & said I would call if I came back. But I don't want my time monopolized by him, so I wish I hadn't. As I told him, the divorce is a ways in the past now, but I'm just now starting to step out.

You want to read something really shallow about me? If he were a better dancer, or even a faster dancer, I would be much more positive about him. As it is .... he's a dork. A sweet nice dork. & It sure is cool to know that I can move in a way that makes a guy fall "in love" after 2 dances of watching my pelvis dance.

What is kind of funny is that Flirty heard a little about the night from the co-worker. Her version of what she said was that I "got picked up." His version of what he knew was that a guy spent the night watching my butt as I danced. Flirty actually flirted with me today... the 2nd time in months and also in less than a week. He also admitted to having tried looking down my blouse before. I told him that I only caught him doing it once. He said, but you didn't seem to mind or move. I admitted that I had not. At one point he obviously was going to say something funny or flirty, but he stopped himself. I asked him why. He says I think too much about somethings he says. Which I must admit is true. Over all though, he was very inquisitive about my interactions w/ Budd & why didn't I like Budd more. Our conversation of course got interrupted.

The other flirty conversation was last week. I was hanging out in his office during lunch like I do frequently...too frequently... but I did not leave because it was my plan & I had no desire to go work. He said something about closing the door, taking a nap & starting rumors. I said I didn't mind rumors that were true. I don't remember the verbatim after that, but the door stayed open, and some kid we both know & are trying to help survive the year came in for advice.

Flirty told the kid that he doesn't give advice. I said, "that's true, he just asks you annoying questions that make you think it out for yourself." That is wise of him. I, on the other hand, do give advice. I usually give a few options to try. I ended up telling this young girl how I had learned a few things the hard way to explain where the advice comes from. Flirty quietly exited the conversation & moved to the far side of the room to do other work as the more personal sides of my life came out. But he heard. He has heard some of it before.

I know what I want to say if he asks me what I don't like about Budd again. I want to say that I happen to like some one else more. I learned recently that he still flirts with every one, but me. I am sooo stupid. Soo stupid. I should never go to lunch in his room again, or just happen to have an errand that takes me by his room during my plan again. 12 days of school & 2 teacher workdays. Then I'll stop, because I'm stupid & should have stopped months ago. Was it not just a few entries ago I said that I wasn't going to not speak my mind any more. Yeah, right. All who believed that were as gullible as I am stupid.

It is time for you to give your sage advice, readers. All who think I should spill my guts, let me know. All who think, I am doing the right thing by making him speak first or never, let me know too. All who think a summer out of sight will get him out of my mind, let me know. Any one who is stupid enough to think that a summer absent from me will make his heart grow fonder, come buy some seaside lots from me in Kansas I need the money to get my head examined.

May the Lord give you the fun and wisdom you need to enjoy your life.