Dear Readers,

I would like to say that I am ecstatic that the school year is drawing to a close. I'm not. I'm actually very bummed out.

I would like to say that I am done entering grades. I'm not, but I can't do anymore from home.

I would like to say that Flirty & I have had a conversation uninterrupted by students, staff, or bells. I can't.

I did issue invitations for the August party-- early version, not late. My daughter moves into the dorms on the later weekend.

I would like to say that now that I've been out dancing that I have a new romantic interest & am less addicted to Flirty. I can't.

I know, I could have called Budd, but sorry. NO WAY. I could have given Jerry my phone number, but .... well, maybe if I talk to him at the club a few more times first. But seriously doubtful. He has a cute twinkle to his eye, but I wouldn't call him handsome in any way (oddly Budd is handsome). He does dance better than Budd. Oh, & I could have let El Salvador (don't know his real name) grope me some more this past Friday, BUT NO WAY IN H ____ ! We ladies had a rule that we couldn't say, "no" if a guy asked us to dance. When I came back to the table from dancing with him, I told the ladies, "We are changing the rule!" and so we did.

I did send/forward an e-mail about curing insanity to Flirty. I changed the last one from being something about passing it on to 5 others to going out for ice cream with me.... we'll see if that was useful. Come summer he won't have e-mail anymore, but thanks to the invitation he does have my home number & address. BUT I still don't have his. HINT HINT: I should catch a damned clue.

I really did think that if I got to know him better, I'd like him less. From the border/surface level, what do I have in common with a 60 year -old tattooed Harley riding guy who is becoming more long-haired & bewhiskered??? He says he's going for the ZZ Top look, but right now he's more of a Jeremiah Johnson. I like ZZ music. I like Jeremiah movie & actor. I'm not fond of the ZZ hair & beard length or girth, and I truly think he'll shave it back to the original mustache before the heat of summer hits harder. I like motorcycle riding, but I believe in wearing helmets. I really like his Bible reading, & compassion. I like how he manages money (Hates debt & is able to remodel house this year, and probably retire 6 years early next year, & travel, and buy donuts for lots of kids & lunch for a few.) That sounds bad, & I want to assure you that I am not thinking about spending his money... It's the philosophy of how to handle money so you can do what you want and not be in debt. We're educators, & if he can do these things on our kind of money, then he's got a head on his shoulders full of common money sense. I try to have that, too. Yes, I know I've got a couple financial head aches of my own right now, but I'll get it back together again. I like his politeness & sense of humor. I like his ability to enjoy a wide variety of things... ballet & opera, Broadway & rock concerts, motorcycles & poetry. I like his music choices; it is disappointing that he doesn't appreciate Bohemian Rhapsody. It is disappointing that he says he doesn't dance. And he looked puzzled when I said that I have no compulsion & never have had the desire to have pierced ears or tattoos.

Oh, well. It's not like I want to marry him, or share housing full time with him, or even co-mingle funds except for a trip or an evening out. The only thing that is truly on my incompatible list.... he chews tobacco. YUCK! GROSS!! DISGUSTING!!

Deep down though, his love of Jesus Christ, his compassion for the students & teachers, his sense of right versus wrong, & his sense of humor out weigh his faults that I have found as I've gotten to know him better. Who'd a thunk it? Not me. STUPID ME.

If nothing else from knowing him & talking with him, I have come to appreciate myself more & gain confidence. I've come to work through a lot of old emotional crap that held me trapped in the past. I lost 15 pounds, & gained muscle tone because I wanted to be able to accept an offer of a massage .... yes, I still want at least another 40 pounds to go away, but it will happen, even if the massage never does.

& Yet I hear the chocolate ice cream calling my name, loudly. Very loudly. As Scarlett says, "Tomorrow is another day."

May you with God's help work through all of your emotional past crap, gain confidence & still enjoy your ice cream.