Today afterschool Flirty & I were walking out of the building at the same time. He said his day was so rough he could use a drink or 2. I said life wasn't quite that bad, but I could really use some chocolate ice cream. He said that chocolate would make me horny...or perhaps did I want to be horny? I told him that I wanted a cure for it. He thought that was quite a great answer.... made him laugh very loudly.

On the drive home I began anticipating a follow up conversation w/ him asking if I had found a cure yet. So I came up with these ideas about cures for the "dis-ease" of our conversation . I sent him this metaphorical follow up that is not for our usually interrupted... who might walk in anytime ?... interractions we call conversations. I think it's humorous enough that I'm considering it as copywrighted as of August 27, 2007 9:40 pm. I know that my personal comments about each cure would be edited by any other user of idea, but I still like it. & can't wait to see what his response will be.

Usual cures for a dis-ease include:

Build up an immunity with small repeated exposures to infecting agent to create natural antibodies. Tried that in spring... only caused dis-ease to increase & become more intense.

Avoidance of infecting agent. Tried that this summer & suggested trying it more this fall. Caused greater discomfort to both infecting agent & the afflicted. Infecting agent even called it "immature." Symptoms of "dis-ease" preferred by afflicted.

Vaccination...
injecting afflicted subject w/ "dead" version of infecting agent... Though injections sound useful for the cure.... not certain agent would like the "dead" part, nor would the afflicted.

OR

injecting afflicted subject with similar virus to build up immunities... Attempts to find similar enough virus have not been located or were not interested in being caught despite Computer generated matches & live interraction with the afflicted... the afflicted had some "allergic" rejection of samples found, too; others just didn't measure up.

Man made Antibiotics... ??? Might be needed if cure comes from unapproved medically unsound resource... I.e. the cure might cause more problems than it's worth.

Herbal remedies ??? Conflicting research: His said chocolate causes increase of symptoms, but my research indicated that in ice cream form it helped alleviate symptoms. Junior level research "knew" something about small hard-shelled chocolate candies, but data proved misleading decades ago.

Mechanical life support devices... no, thanks.

I asked if he had Any other cures he could provide/suggest ?

and then told him that he should be laughing by now.

So in case you can't tell: Out of sight out of mind plan didn't work well. Absence makes the heart grow fonder doesn't seem to have worked either. He noticed immediately that I was avoiding him... more than I thought I was avoiding him even. & he called me on it. I admitted it, and he did not like it. He says there is a soft spot in his heart for me, and he cherishes our friendship. (Just what I did not need to hear to get my mind off of him.) But yes, he still has a lady friend that he is honoring at this time.

A few days ago he & I and another woman walked out of the building at the same time. He made a flirty comment about what a fun menage' trois that would be with two of his favorite women. He couldn't remember the phrase; I said it for him. I also said, "Well, that would be one way to get rid of your lady friend." He heartily agreed she would not like it, & that it would indeed get rid of her in his life... might even endanger his life & well being.

Yes, I know that some of you women are thinking this is sexual harrassment. It would be if the other woman & I felt offended, but his tone, timing and personality just make it harmless fun to us.

At times I feel like his "other woman." Except the most contact we usually have had is his hand on my back as he holds a door open for me. In all of these months we've only had 2 full body hugs, no kisses, no handholding; a few arm around the shoulder hugs... oh & the one demonstration early last year of how easy it is to talk when riding behind him on a motorcycle when we were no where near the motorcycle. I know a couple of you are thinking he's a perv. You're wrong. He doesn't have a pervy presentation or demeanor. He's careful with whom he interacts.

I still refuse to call what I feel for him "love." (I admitted to him the other day that I don't have a word to describe my feelings for him. But that "just friends" was not satisfactory.)

Something is missing for the love word, besides the reciprocation, but that would help a lot. It does cause physical discomfort in my chest when I miss him, and no I didn't tell him this, but he can read it in my body language.

I still feel a magnetic pull to go see him & get to know him even better. I'm like that stupid moth to the flame who has already singed her wings. Hope I can keep enough sense around me to keep from becoming a crispy critter.

It's past bed time and I didn't even update you all on my dad. Let's just summarize it, cuz I really don't feel up to bawling my eyes out. Left side paralyzed for 10 years. Going deaf for about 3 years. Recent stroke paralyzed right side. He can move at the elbow enough to wipe his nose & mouth. He can barely talk... more about what's not happening in his throat than his mouth. A good lip reader could probably understand more than we did. He tried spelling by moving his index finger in the air, but since he started having trouble reading 10 years ago.... He managed to say "H2O" when we couldn't figure out he wanted water.

I could tell he did not want me to see him in the condition he is in. When Mom told me that a month ago he was walking (which I've not seen him do in at least 5 years), I asked him if he was going to find that "can do" attitude again. He told us, an emphatic yes. He also managed to stridently tell mom that she is not to say, "Goodbye." She can say, "see you later." They were both crying, and now I am too.

May you have a good day/night.

See you later,
Pete