Imagine a day where you walk into work after singing along to a CD of the Christmas cantata your choir is learning, see some one with whom there have been uncomfortable moments, but you decide to greet her pleasantly anyway. Imagine the person says to you, "I rebuke you, Satan, in the name of Jesus Christ." Thus started my work week. I did reply, after I picked my jaw up off the floor, "I will continue to pray for you, anyway." This received the reply of, "Pray for yourself, " which I can easily do cause I've been praying that things between her & me (yes it's grammatically correct because of the preposition) would improve. Now they really need to improve, and I am a selfish Christian who knows she needs lots of help from the whole Trinity.
Yes, it was the woman that called security on me & the senior. I told the Vice Principal who was involved that day. She was flabbergasted. She took me to the Principal. He too could not believe it. He suggested that there be a meeting between me & the woman. I sort of consented, but then later sent an e-mail telling him that it had been bad enough working around her after being called a racist liar this summer, but that I really didn't want to be in a room with some one who used my religion's worst insult to describe me. I told him that my only conflict with the woman is that she is insulting to me, and that she waits for when there are no witnesses to be her most insulting. And it concerned me that contact with administration just seemed to make the situation worse. I told him I would do my best to either have some one with me, or not be in her presence. He consented & replied that he would talk to her alone.
Flirty told me to talk to the union, & the EEOC. I don't belong to the union, & I don't really know what the EEOC could do. She's not a boss. She claims to be Christian just as I do. Yes, it has created a hostile environment. Flirty said that if I would keep my distance from him, since she hates his guts too, that she wouldn't be so vicious to me. I told him that I wasn't going to bullied away from a friend by any one, except Flirty's wife.
______________________
Meanwhile.... FBE called me Saturday, as I told you. Sunday at church his wife went to the front of the church & asked for prayers for him & her since their marriage wasn't doing well. She didn't warn him. She didn't invite him. But then he was called up front to be with her. Then she had the audacity to ask him if he is a Christian. Somewhere along there, he said to her that he would talk to her at home and left. Sometime during Sunday they talked more, but also sometime on that day he packed up some bags & was about to just leave, when he realized he had no where to go.
Now I will admit, that calling me could seem like a version of betraying his wedding vows. I will even admit that some of the conversation was not appropriate for a married man to have with another woman. But it wasn't like he professed his love, or we talked dirty sex or anything at all remotely like that. It was flirty, but not like Flirty does it. When Flirty flirts, everyone knows it's just fun, even though there were times with me when it went deeper. When FBE flirts, it has meaning to it.
So Monday, I gave FBE a to do list to get his finances safe & set, gave him a lead on how to find a place to move to... my Mom's rental agency, etc. etc.. And then I warned him that as much as he wants his freedom & was burning with anger, and can't wait to actually have figured out how to leave, that he will find a time when he will cry harder than he ever imagined possible. And if he doesn't, I will wonder if he has a soul.
He said he had already started the to do list... of course it was the second time I told him about many of the items he needed to do.
& NO, I didn't give the advice as a "plotting to break up his marriage" type woman. I gave him the advice cuz there is a lot to remember to do, and I've told other friends the same advice... of course all of the other friends were women with abusive husbands.
When I finally heard of what made him so mad on Sunday, I even said to him that it was rather ironic that his wife asking for prayers for his marriage, and giving him the opportunity to confirm & testify to his faith were the straws that were breaking the wedding rings' back. I also told him that this seemed to be answered prayer... just not the answer he wanted. But I admitted I wasn't there to witness her sincerity. I wasn't there for the previous 18 years, nor the last 4 years, nor for any of their counseling sessions, or the the conversations they had after church on Sunday. So my input was from a perspective 200 miles away. I suggested he go talk with the pastor again, since the pastor was way more in the loop than I was.
This week FBE & I have exchanged several e-mails every day. He has pretty much decided to come visit in about a month for a biker's event in town. He has told his wife that it is actually in a nearby town. I wonder if she sees through the lie. I originally invited him thinking they would come together... cuz he was just a friend. I told him at one point in the week that I didn't care anymore if she came. Furthermore though I was tempted to suggest that he invite his son to come along to chaperone, that I really don't want a chaperone. I want us to be able to speak freely. I did tell FBE that because my kids will be at their dad's that their bedrooms will be open for use. I also point blank asked him if he was going to have filed for divorce before he comes & if he will have moved out before he comes. He states that he will have, but that he is not getting the divorce because of me.
We will see.
FBE was an honorable young man. Always the gentleman. Never lied to me. I trust him to be an honorable man and that he still doesn't lie, except that now I know he lied to his wife at least once. Now granted if he really does file, and move out, then it won't matter where he is on any given day, unless it's time for him to have custody of his children.
He told me what his older kids plans are for custody issues, because they've known where he is for quite awhile.... but his youngest is 10. I told him to talk the older kids into putting off their preferences (not with Mom) until the littlest has time to adjust. If she goes from a family unit to just her & one parent...well it will wipe out most kids.
FBE wrote that it sounded like I had old feelings returning. I assured him that all feelings are new, & he doesn't want the emotions of the 17 (almost 18)-year old who left him. So then he asked what the new ones are. So for you nosey friends: concern, worry, curiosity, "wow, a man is interested in me" " & " he's still good lookin," & " RUN, HE IS STILL MARRIED."
But I'm reorganizing my very multi-tasking room anyway, because you see my daughter's at college & I have an extra room now. So ... do you believe that one? Well I have been thinking about how to reorganize since last spring, whether you believe that's why I'm doing it or not.
And with some thoughts like these, maybe I do have a touch of the devil in me after all.
Ah, a prayer for tonight that is universal?
May we all find a comfortable balance between our morals & curiosities & desires that won't leave us with regrets.
Take care,
Pete
Yes, it was the woman that called security on me & the senior. I told the Vice Principal who was involved that day. She was flabbergasted. She took me to the Principal. He too could not believe it. He suggested that there be a meeting between me & the woman. I sort of consented, but then later sent an e-mail telling him that it had been bad enough working around her after being called a racist liar this summer, but that I really didn't want to be in a room with some one who used my religion's worst insult to describe me. I told him that my only conflict with the woman is that she is insulting to me, and that she waits for when there are no witnesses to be her most insulting. And it concerned me that contact with administration just seemed to make the situation worse. I told him I would do my best to either have some one with me, or not be in her presence. He consented & replied that he would talk to her alone.
Flirty told me to talk to the union, & the EEOC. I don't belong to the union, & I don't really know what the EEOC could do. She's not a boss. She claims to be Christian just as I do. Yes, it has created a hostile environment. Flirty said that if I would keep my distance from him, since she hates his guts too, that she wouldn't be so vicious to me. I told him that I wasn't going to bullied away from a friend by any one, except Flirty's wife.
______________________
Meanwhile.... FBE called me Saturday, as I told you. Sunday at church his wife went to the front of the church & asked for prayers for him & her since their marriage wasn't doing well. She didn't warn him. She didn't invite him. But then he was called up front to be with her. Then she had the audacity to ask him if he is a Christian. Somewhere along there, he said to her that he would talk to her at home and left. Sometime during Sunday they talked more, but also sometime on that day he packed up some bags & was about to just leave, when he realized he had no where to go.
Now I will admit, that calling me could seem like a version of betraying his wedding vows. I will even admit that some of the conversation was not appropriate for a married man to have with another woman. But it wasn't like he professed his love, or we talked dirty sex or anything at all remotely like that. It was flirty, but not like Flirty does it. When Flirty flirts, everyone knows it's just fun, even though there were times with me when it went deeper. When FBE flirts, it has meaning to it.
So Monday, I gave FBE a to do list to get his finances safe & set, gave him a lead on how to find a place to move to... my Mom's rental agency, etc. etc.. And then I warned him that as much as he wants his freedom & was burning with anger, and can't wait to actually have figured out how to leave, that he will find a time when he will cry harder than he ever imagined possible. And if he doesn't, I will wonder if he has a soul.
He said he had already started the to do list... of course it was the second time I told him about many of the items he needed to do.
& NO, I didn't give the advice as a "plotting to break up his marriage" type woman. I gave him the advice cuz there is a lot to remember to do, and I've told other friends the same advice... of course all of the other friends were women with abusive husbands.
When I finally heard of what made him so mad on Sunday, I even said to him that it was rather ironic that his wife asking for prayers for his marriage, and giving him the opportunity to confirm & testify to his faith were the straws that were breaking the wedding rings' back. I also told him that this seemed to be answered prayer... just not the answer he wanted. But I admitted I wasn't there to witness her sincerity. I wasn't there for the previous 18 years, nor the last 4 years, nor for any of their counseling sessions, or the the conversations they had after church on Sunday. So my input was from a perspective 200 miles away. I suggested he go talk with the pastor again, since the pastor was way more in the loop than I was.
This week FBE & I have exchanged several e-mails every day. He has pretty much decided to come visit in about a month for a biker's event in town. He has told his wife that it is actually in a nearby town. I wonder if she sees through the lie. I originally invited him thinking they would come together... cuz he was just a friend. I told him at one point in the week that I didn't care anymore if she came. Furthermore though I was tempted to suggest that he invite his son to come along to chaperone, that I really don't want a chaperone. I want us to be able to speak freely. I did tell FBE that because my kids will be at their dad's that their bedrooms will be open for use. I also point blank asked him if he was going to have filed for divorce before he comes & if he will have moved out before he comes. He states that he will have, but that he is not getting the divorce because of me.
We will see.
FBE was an honorable young man. Always the gentleman. Never lied to me. I trust him to be an honorable man and that he still doesn't lie, except that now I know he lied to his wife at least once. Now granted if he really does file, and move out, then it won't matter where he is on any given day, unless it's time for him to have custody of his children.
He told me what his older kids plans are for custody issues, because they've known where he is for quite awhile.... but his youngest is 10. I told him to talk the older kids into putting off their preferences (not with Mom) until the littlest has time to adjust. If she goes from a family unit to just her & one parent...well it will wipe out most kids.
FBE wrote that it sounded like I had old feelings returning. I assured him that all feelings are new, & he doesn't want the emotions of the 17 (almost 18)-year old who left him. So then he asked what the new ones are. So for you nosey friends: concern, worry, curiosity, "wow, a man is interested in me" " & " he's still good lookin," & " RUN, HE IS STILL MARRIED."
But I'm reorganizing my very multi-tasking room anyway, because you see my daughter's at college & I have an extra room now. So ... do you believe that one? Well I have been thinking about how to reorganize since last spring, whether you believe that's why I'm doing it or not.
And with some thoughts like these, maybe I do have a touch of the devil in me after all.
Ah, a prayer for tonight that is universal?
May we all find a comfortable balance between our morals & curiosities & desires that won't leave us with regrets.
Take care,
Pete
posted by Pete | 8:41 PM
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