Prayers for the kid who dropped out last spring, contemplated suicide & did night school...life is tough for him again. He's hanging in there best he can.
Prayers for my 3 Karens: all of them have been having health issues.
Prayers for "my" soldiers in Iraq: Sean, Phillip, Jonathan, Daniel, plus my many unknown students who are over there.
Prayers for my youngest: He just isn't understanding that he has to do school work & chores.
Prayers for my dad: dementia & basic brain damage from strokes
Prayers for mom: putting up w/ Dad & other stuff.
Prayers for FBE's kids & almost ex-wife.... she ain't makin this quick & easy. Guess she's finally realizing he is something worth having. She needs comforting & a release from lots of past anger. I don't know at whom she is angry cuz it's old anger... but I would guess herself, & God & FBE & her parents. How do I know...packrat, depression, bitter negativity... all classic symptoms. & No, FBE is not my only source, just my main source.
His kids are doing surprisingly well, for now. They seem to truly love their dad. They call him at all hours just to talk with him. I hear them in the background when he & I are on the phone. The youngest is so sweet that I can't wait to meet her, but I have to. The older two are so outspoken that I admire their ease with speaking their feelings. Tough issues in front of them & they have the courage to speak up. Never heard of them being down right rude or vulgar, except once. Don't blame the boy in some ways... he'd just got his driving permit & mom wouldn't let him drive on some back country roads when he's driven in fields already.
Prayers for FBE: He still feels committed to the divorce... for more reasons than ever...negative reasons from wife & her family...positive reasons with me. But it's turning out to be harder to make actually happen than he thought. A few weeks ago his face was just all stress & tiredness. He's looking better, but he has lost his temper with her a few times. He says he apologized to her & the kids for a really bad night.
I watch him handle his anger... MUCH Better than my ex, but my past makes me worry just a bit anyway. He knows it. He knows everything I can remember to tell him.
I told him at the beginning that I see myself stuck here for 5 years because of kid custody issues. He asked me last week where I saw us in 3 years... Married before then, except I don't know how we resolve my kid custody issues. He asked cuz he was seeing the same thing. We can envision playing with grandkids together. We can envision working on projects together, traveling on the motorcycle, singing, praying, growing grayer together.
I can't imagine having to be ok with just some weekends here & there for 3 years, let alone 5.
I told him that saying good bye today was harder than sending him back to Germany in Sept. 1980. He understood.
It seems too odd that the first time he called was only 6 weeks ago. The cell phone has logged 82 hours of talking in October mostly to him, plus the last time either of us counted e-mails there were over 100 (some just 2-10 words, others true lengthy conversations), & we saw each other 110 hours through today. And we are basically usually asleep & not talking between the hours of 10 & 5:30 when we are apart.
It is hard to think of something we haven't discussed. Finances, financial beliefs: done. Religious beliefs: done. Husband/wife relationships: Done many times. Anger: done, many times. Life goals & dreams: done. Child rearing philosophies & experiences: many times. Previous relationships: done & doing as they continue to impact us. Politics: ok, could go deeper, but many social issues discussed. Our own past: done. Weather: daily ( he gives me my forecast.) Our daily activities: daily... 3-4 times daily. Pets: done. (He believes dogs belong outside, & so did I until mine ended up being allergic to grass.) Friends: hmm. He's heard of mine, but I don't know so much about his... he talks a lot about spending time w/ extended family though & I don't so much. Jobs: daily.
Well time for bed & it's too late to buzz him... oh well. There is always 5:30 in the morning... that's our habit. Call us wierd, but we've already gotten up & dressed by then (except for the day I overslept & he caught me naked). At 5:30 I usually start my commute, & he finds a way to not be overheard.
May you anticipate awakening & starting each day with the happiness I experience.
Take care,
Pete
Prayers for my 3 Karens: all of them have been having health issues.
Prayers for "my" soldiers in Iraq: Sean, Phillip, Jonathan, Daniel, plus my many unknown students who are over there.
Prayers for my youngest: He just isn't understanding that he has to do school work & chores.
Prayers for my dad: dementia & basic brain damage from strokes
Prayers for mom: putting up w/ Dad & other stuff.
Prayers for FBE's kids & almost ex-wife.... she ain't makin this quick & easy. Guess she's finally realizing he is something worth having. She needs comforting & a release from lots of past anger. I don't know at whom she is angry cuz it's old anger... but I would guess herself, & God & FBE & her parents. How do I know...packrat, depression, bitter negativity... all classic symptoms. & No, FBE is not my only source, just my main source.
His kids are doing surprisingly well, for now. They seem to truly love their dad. They call him at all hours just to talk with him. I hear them in the background when he & I are on the phone. The youngest is so sweet that I can't wait to meet her, but I have to. The older two are so outspoken that I admire their ease with speaking their feelings. Tough issues in front of them & they have the courage to speak up. Never heard of them being down right rude or vulgar, except once. Don't blame the boy in some ways... he'd just got his driving permit & mom wouldn't let him drive on some back country roads when he's driven in fields already.
Prayers for FBE: He still feels committed to the divorce... for more reasons than ever...negative reasons from wife & her family...positive reasons with me. But it's turning out to be harder to make actually happen than he thought. A few weeks ago his face was just all stress & tiredness. He's looking better, but he has lost his temper with her a few times. He says he apologized to her & the kids for a really bad night.
I watch him handle his anger... MUCH Better than my ex, but my past makes me worry just a bit anyway. He knows it. He knows everything I can remember to tell him.
I told him at the beginning that I see myself stuck here for 5 years because of kid custody issues. He asked me last week where I saw us in 3 years... Married before then, except I don't know how we resolve my kid custody issues. He asked cuz he was seeing the same thing. We can envision playing with grandkids together. We can envision working on projects together, traveling on the motorcycle, singing, praying, growing grayer together.
I can't imagine having to be ok with just some weekends here & there for 3 years, let alone 5.
I told him that saying good bye today was harder than sending him back to Germany in Sept. 1980. He understood.
It seems too odd that the first time he called was only 6 weeks ago. The cell phone has logged 82 hours of talking in October mostly to him, plus the last time either of us counted e-mails there were over 100 (some just 2-10 words, others true lengthy conversations), & we saw each other 110 hours through today. And we are basically usually asleep & not talking between the hours of 10 & 5:30 when we are apart.
It is hard to think of something we haven't discussed. Finances, financial beliefs: done. Religious beliefs: done. Husband/wife relationships: Done many times. Anger: done, many times. Life goals & dreams: done. Child rearing philosophies & experiences: many times. Previous relationships: done & doing as they continue to impact us. Politics: ok, could go deeper, but many social issues discussed. Our own past: done. Weather: daily ( he gives me my forecast.) Our daily activities: daily... 3-4 times daily. Pets: done. (He believes dogs belong outside, & so did I until mine ended up being allergic to grass.) Friends: hmm. He's heard of mine, but I don't know so much about his... he talks a lot about spending time w/ extended family though & I don't so much. Jobs: daily.
Well time for bed & it's too late to buzz him... oh well. There is always 5:30 in the morning... that's our habit. Call us wierd, but we've already gotten up & dressed by then (except for the day I overslept & he caught me naked). At 5:30 I usually start my commute, & he finds a way to not be overheard.
May you anticipate awakening & starting each day with the happiness I experience.
Take care,
Pete
posted by Pete | 9:41 PM
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