Today afterschool Flirty & I were walking out of the building at the same time. He said his day was so rough he could use a drink or 2. I said life wasn't quite that bad, but I could really use some chocolate ice cream. He said that chocolate would make me horny...or perhaps did I want to be horny? I told him that I wanted a cure for it. He thought that was quite a great answer.... made him laugh very loudly.

On the drive home I began anticipating a follow up conversation w/ him asking if I had found a cure yet. So I came up with these ideas about cures for the "dis-ease" of our conversation . I sent him this metaphorical follow up that is not for our usually interrupted... who might walk in anytime ?... interractions we call conversations. I think it's humorous enough that I'm considering it as copywrighted as of August 27, 2007 9:40 pm. I know that my personal comments about each cure would be edited by any other user of idea, but I still like it. & can't wait to see what his response will be.

Usual cures for a dis-ease include:

Build up an immunity with small repeated exposures to infecting agent to create natural antibodies. Tried that in spring... only caused dis-ease to increase & become more intense.

Avoidance of infecting agent. Tried that this summer & suggested trying it more this fall. Caused greater discomfort to both infecting agent & the afflicted. Infecting agent even called it "immature." Symptoms of "dis-ease" preferred by afflicted.

Vaccination...
injecting afflicted subject w/ "dead" version of infecting agent... Though injections sound useful for the cure.... not certain agent would like the "dead" part, nor would the afflicted.

OR

injecting afflicted subject with similar virus to build up immunities... Attempts to find similar enough virus have not been located or were not interested in being caught despite Computer generated matches & live interraction with the afflicted... the afflicted had some "allergic" rejection of samples found, too; others just didn't measure up.

Man made Antibiotics... ??? Might be needed if cure comes from unapproved medically unsound resource... I.e. the cure might cause more problems than it's worth.

Herbal remedies ??? Conflicting research: His said chocolate causes increase of symptoms, but my research indicated that in ice cream form it helped alleviate symptoms. Junior level research "knew" something about small hard-shelled chocolate candies, but data proved misleading decades ago.

Mechanical life support devices... no, thanks.

I asked if he had Any other cures he could provide/suggest ?

and then told him that he should be laughing by now.

So in case you can't tell: Out of sight out of mind plan didn't work well. Absence makes the heart grow fonder doesn't seem to have worked either. He noticed immediately that I was avoiding him... more than I thought I was avoiding him even. & he called me on it. I admitted it, and he did not like it. He says there is a soft spot in his heart for me, and he cherishes our friendship. (Just what I did not need to hear to get my mind off of him.) But yes, he still has a lady friend that he is honoring at this time.

A few days ago he & I and another woman walked out of the building at the same time. He made a flirty comment about what a fun menage' trois that would be with two of his favorite women. He couldn't remember the phrase; I said it for him. I also said, "Well, that would be one way to get rid of your lady friend." He heartily agreed she would not like it, & that it would indeed get rid of her in his life... might even endanger his life & well being.

Yes, I know that some of you women are thinking this is sexual harrassment. It would be if the other woman & I felt offended, but his tone, timing and personality just make it harmless fun to us.

At times I feel like his "other woman." Except the most contact we usually have had is his hand on my back as he holds a door open for me. In all of these months we've only had 2 full body hugs, no kisses, no handholding; a few arm around the shoulder hugs... oh & the one demonstration early last year of how easy it is to talk when riding behind him on a motorcycle when we were no where near the motorcycle. I know a couple of you are thinking he's a perv. You're wrong. He doesn't have a pervy presentation or demeanor. He's careful with whom he interacts.

I still refuse to call what I feel for him "love." (I admitted to him the other day that I don't have a word to describe my feelings for him. But that "just friends" was not satisfactory.)

Something is missing for the love word, besides the reciprocation, but that would help a lot. It does cause physical discomfort in my chest when I miss him, and no I didn't tell him this, but he can read it in my body language.

I still feel a magnetic pull to go see him & get to know him even better. I'm like that stupid moth to the flame who has already singed her wings. Hope I can keep enough sense around me to keep from becoming a crispy critter.

It's past bed time and I didn't even update you all on my dad. Let's just summarize it, cuz I really don't feel up to bawling my eyes out. Left side paralyzed for 10 years. Going deaf for about 3 years. Recent stroke paralyzed right side. He can move at the elbow enough to wipe his nose & mouth. He can barely talk... more about what's not happening in his throat than his mouth. A good lip reader could probably understand more than we did. He tried spelling by moving his index finger in the air, but since he started having trouble reading 10 years ago.... He managed to say "H2O" when we couldn't figure out he wanted water.

I could tell he did not want me to see him in the condition he is in. When Mom told me that a month ago he was walking (which I've not seen him do in at least 5 years), I asked him if he was going to find that "can do" attitude again. He told us, an emphatic yes. He also managed to stridently tell mom that she is not to say, "Goodbye." She can say, "see you later." They were both crying, and now I am too.

May you have a good day/night.

See you later,
Pete

Ok, you know how we all get those surveys asking questions to answer so our friends can get to know us a little bit differently. Well, I got one, and thought I'd share my answers here, as well as annoying some of my friends by forwarding it, because I'm curious to see their answers.

If you could have had the starring role in one film already made, which movie would you pick? Hmm, how about Mona Lisa Smile, I get to be Julia Roberts' teacher character. Or the one where Katherine Hepburn is a researcher that kicks a computer's butt... or What is the name of that movie with Julia Stiles dancing hip hop & ballet? Erin Brockovich would be kind of cool too, then I'd have boobs & a figure as I did something good for the world... & Erin grew up in the town I live in currently.

If you could eliminate one thing you do each day in the bathroom so that you never had to do it again, what would it be? folding laundry The laundry closet is attached... not an everyday thing as it is, but close enough.

& let's get real. If we could just get rid of having to pee or poop at all, wouldn't it just be grand? Then we wouldn't even have to have a toilet to clean, or worry about bladder infections or diarrhea, etc. There would be 2 fewer reasons/excuses for students to leave the classroom or be tardy, too!! No need for toilet paper, less need for water processing plants. Oh & the best... no diapers or training pants.

You've just been hired to a promotions position at Kellogg Co. What would you put in a new breakfast cereal box as a gimmick? I really liked the cereal boxes that had computer games in them... I'd do more of that.

When trick-or-treating as a kid, was there any kind of candy that you didn't like to get? I didn't like Butterfingers at the time (silly me), & I still don't like the Almond Joy & Heath bars. I also became less fond of bubble gum the older I got. Still don't like gum.

What was your favorite TV show when you were growing up? Captain Kangaroo and Romper Room were cool when I was really young, but I loved watching the mystery/detective shows with my dad, Mannix, McCloud, Columbo, Banachek, Longstreet. Dad introduced me to James Bond, Matt Helm & Jason Bourne, too. Watching Little House on the Prairie with mom was ok, too.

Name the most famous person you've had a face to face encounter with ('brush with greatness')Bob Dole. I ate a "pot luck" indoor picnic with him & I could have sworn I shook his hand in a tiny western Kansas blip on the map that celebrates "Butterfield Day" I think it is south of Oakley. The road to that town has about a mile of shoes on fence posts just north of it. Ray Bradbury signed a book of mine; he even commented on how old the edition was. & I just met the author of Freak the Mighty when he signed my book, too.

What's the closest you've come to becoming a pop star/winning an Oscar? Well, the school year I wanted a divorce, and my husband remained too totally clueless might have won, except I really didn't really act like I was enjoying the marriage...Perhaps he was just clueless... well, there was a reason I wanted a divorce. The only other real competition: I did sing Karaoke one night. & in high school I had 6 lines = less than 30 words in the play The Mouse that Roared.
What was your favorite thing to play with as a child? Why?
the creek & the railroad tracks right beside them. I could "swim", make clay pots, track wild Indians, sled down the hills, walk the balance beam down to the river, flirt with dirty boys who chased me with crawdads, make mud pies, paint on the walls of the bridge tunnels, watch tadpoles & hop toads, sit and draw or read. If I wasn't at the creek playing (or working with the parents), I was reading.

Have you ever jumped out of a plane?
"No. Why jump from a perfectly working plane?" typed a previous person, and I agree. I would like to own a hot air balloon though.

What is your favorite quote?
Let's just say that if you start reading in the Bible, Matthew 6 and end at Matthew 7: 12 there are several lines/phrases etc that I just love. and then I have another Bible verse that is fun to use, but I use it very sparingly... only with very-anti-abortion-in-my-face people: Ecclesiastes 6: 3-6... "A man may have a hundred children and live a long time, but no matter how long he lives, if he does not get his share of happiness and does not receive a decent burial, then I say that a baby born dead is better off. It does that baby no good to be born; it disappears into darkness, where it is forgotten. It never sees the light of day or knows what life is like, but at least it has found rest--- more so than the man who never enjoys life, though he may live two thousand years. After all, both of them are going to the same place." That said, I do believe many (but definitely not all) abortions to be immoral, but refuse to support efforts to make any illegal.


What is your favorite weird food combination?
The weirdest I get is cottage cheese sitting between mashed potatoes & applesauce & all ending up on the same fork. I do not mix them together until the mouth is closed.

If you were to be on a reality TV show which one would you be on and why?
If there were a reality survival show with out swimming or eating gross foods, I could kick some serious butt, & no one would expect it of this little old out of shape Christian English teacher.

What one super hero power would you like to have and why?
"I would like to have the power to heal the mind of physical and emotional damage".... said some one else, & I agree with that. If I must be original, then being able to make students be quiet while I'm trying to teach & then actually study, and do homework would be really grand. Another idea I like is being able to grade 135 essays in less than an hour... of course that would assume that all 135 students actually turned in the essays.

Can you comfortably eat in a restaurant by yourself? Go to movie? Why? If I want to eat alone, I can do it at home, and wear my jammies. Go see a movie? There are no potty breaks at a movie, and the snacks cost way too much, so I'll stay home.

Ok, those are excuses. I've actually gone out to eat, and gone to see more movies in the past year or two than in my entire previous life, and I don't go alone. And with the wonderful friends I have, who needs to do either alone? Not me, but I can go to the bathroom all by myself... How many women do you know that can do that?


If you could be one kind of beer which one would you be and why?
Root beer. All the rest smell nasty & taste worse than they smell.

What certain thing have you done that impressed yourself?
Moving out on my ex husband & not "needing" to replace him. Roofing the house & teaching at an inner-city school without receiving physical injuries are pretty cool too. (My high school classmates would never have expected me to teach inner city... heck, they teased me about just speaking up in class... I avoided it like the plague.)

If you had a 'theme song' that played whenever you walk into a room full of people, what would it be?
A song that I knew when I had a paper route: "Who's tripping down the streets of the city, smiling at everybody she meets? Who's reaching out to capture a rainbow? Everyone knows it's Windy, And Wendy has stormy eyes that flash at the sound of lies,.. and wings to fly.... " Windy/Wendy? comes to my mind. So do the three songs for my funeral: Hallelujah Chorus, Do Lord, and "Dance then wherever you may be, I am the Lord of the Dance said He" which goes to the "Shaker Hymn" tune.

When you were in elementary school, what was your favorite activity at recess?
Avoiding being teased. Most easily done by swinging, or playing tetherball, cuz only us geeks played with them anyway.

The end.