Well Strangers & dear ones,

I am up past bed time cuz I slept during the morning cuz of a fever & cold. Nasty stuff going around my school... I seem to have a light version of it, if you call emptying a box of kleenex a day light... fever comes & goes. Highest was 102. Right now it's low enough I can think, but high enough I requested a substitute for tomorrow.

Have visited another blog site... yahoo 360 is where an old friend of mine hangs out. Yup, I stressed the old... he used to think I was too young, eventually he decided I was too female... but that was after I fell in love with my now ex hubby & he had moved on before then too. We are Im'ing tonight too.

It is odd catching up with old friends whom you haven't really talked to in 20 years. It's like once I got married, I started losing contact with friends. Especially after child #3. This fall I got together with some college buddies. The one other female & I had kept in touch, but since 2 of the 3 guys were our ex boyfriends... well mine was more of a friends with benefits type thing, never had but one real date & that was when he was engaged to a girl he did not marry... I think. Well if he did, it was later & not as quickly as originally planned. ... any way the guys & the girls had not kept in contact. Interesting how some things change, and some don't.

For example. In college I did not drink; they did. I sniffed & sipped, but it all was nasty. But eventually I discovered Amaretto. So last fall we all get together & go to a restaurant. There was a bit of awkwardness when the waiter asked if we wanted any drinks... they all hesitated. I broke the ice & ordered my amaretto & 7up... they all laughed & were surprised. Later on after also going to a bar, 3 of the five commented on how they weren't used to just going out & drinking anymore. Most of us were into sodas before long. In college that is all most of them seemed to do.

I keep telling folks that if in 5th-6th grade Tina & Tracy & Sue had offered me rum with Dr. Pepper or Pepsi, my life could have been very different... cuz I like rum in fruity things... but Coca-cola/Coke is nasty, besides I really did think we were too young then. I changed my mind long before I was a senior... about the age thing (3.2 was legal for us at 18, so what's a few months or 12), but beer was & is nasty, but they never invited me to a party with booze again after 6th grade.

Any way it turns out that OLD friend blogs about lack of intimate relationships between males. I told him that females aren't truly much better. Oh, yeah if you put a group of females in a room, long before an hour is up we'll have discussed periods, childbirth, husbands' annoying habits. But that's like guys talking about cars or sports... it's checking out the groundwork... You know first the weather & then the how are ya's & what's ups. but the answers are 99% "fine" & "you?" type. I decided long ago, much to the ex's dismay, to actually tell the truth instead of answering "fine" even to strangers. Ok, so strangers didn't get the whole truth.

My students are always asking "What's up?" I usually try to give an answer related to something that is truly up, or not. For example since the boys mostly sag, they get "the degree I'm enforcing the dress code, so pull those pants up." Today if I had been there it would have been "my temperature." For some kids who do no work, "your number of missing assignments." Students who hand me lots of late work, "your GPA." When I'm busy, "the number of things I'm trying to do at the same time." I think they ask me, "what's up?" just to hear my answers. I try hard not to give the same answer twice in a row, but sometimes I do just have to say, "the ceiling" or "the sky" cuz I'm just not witty at the moment.

Anyway. Got my own computer in January; right around the time the ex paid the settlement to me... & now I actually get to communicate with my brother & the OLD friend, who has to go to work in the morning so just im'd goodnight... eegad it's after midnight... what am I doing up still?

oh yeah, I slept a good portion of the morning away cuz I was up late unable to breathe or think straight due to illness.

Well, since he's asleep, I'll continue the topic. I then read his blog & discovered that he must spend hours a day on the computer. Good golly. I suspect this must be how many people are. Searching for companionship via internet, but actually inhibiting intimacy by being online instead of with people. Thus they don't understand why they still feel a void. They "talk" to people all day long, but they don't get the eye contact, hand /arm / shoulder touching stuff we do when talking. Ok, so maybe guys don't do the touching when talking, but I still think we must get something more from live conversation... like pheromes or something.

So am I joining the world of lonely folks who spend hours on the internet? Doubtful. I have to grade papers, go to square dance lessons (amazing how much I forgot in 17 years), church choir, and read for fun. So why a blog? To be honest cuz i have always loved writing. I used to imagine myself as a cross between Erma Bombeck, Ann Landers & ... that bowtie wearing , eye glass wearing very Republican editorial page commentator... dang, can't remember his name. I want to type Will something. I also could see myself as the next Laura Ingalls Wilder... but my life has not been that adventurous. I do have the first chapter & a partial outline though for a book. I will have to work on it now that I theoretically have more free time.

And now it is 3 hours until I usually wake up. I must go to bed or never convert back to reality.







I must admit, I used to stay up all night long with no problems. But I blame my kids' baby years for my sleep deprivation & need for sleep. Doesn't matter that I only had about a 8 months of normal hours between high school & H being born & that's when I was pregnant with her. I worked nights at a bakery, & for Sprint along the way too.

A much better week at school. Most of us figure it was a kid or under cover kid who did the vidoes. But the principal acts like it was a teacher. Cell phone had to have been the tool.

Parent-teacher conferences at my kids' schools & at mine. I was much more honest with the parents of my students than my kids' teachers were with me... unless I really do have awesome kids. It is one thing for me to say my kids are awesome; but definitely another for everyone else to say so. Ok, one son is doing his best right now... he isn't feeling emotionally awesome so it shows. But for one of my students... I compared the thinness of his work folder to the thickness of a "B" student who is only a B cuz she can earn 100% on the assignments she does do, not because she does them all. Then I showed her how on Vocabulary workbook homework assignments he got 100%, but on similar inclass assignments & on tests over those vocabulary words in the workbook, he got 50% & less. Which is really him? I asked her. i also showed her his forging of her signature. He is a rude bastard... ok I didn't use the last word to her face or ear. but did use a few of his exact words... she got the message. Now on Monday will he still be rude, or will she have worked an attitude adjustment in to him?

Uh, oh I have to leave to meet a friend for a movie. Take care.

Eegad... I see so many grammar errors... please forgive me for not editing.

Hi, again.
Interesting day to be back at work. Found out that I was on tv news last night. Someone had a secret camera at school & filmed me and other teachers searching the students' bags as they come through the metal detectors. Did they keep the footage of me finding cell phones & CD players, & making the kids mad cuz I was searching too thouroughly? No they showed the film of me pretending to check the bag of a kid I know & trusted. & I mean trusted. There are kids I like; kids I know won't do anything wrong, & kids who the worst thing they'll ever do is bring a cell phone. I check all of their bags. So whose bags don't I really check? 4 girls & 1 guy.
So the teachers who work at the front desk are banging our heads trying to figure out who could have made the video. If it were a kid, we would have been hounding someone in those places to move on to the cafeteria & they couldn't have filmed much on any given day. If it were an adult, then we would have had that person to help us check the bags, or hound the students to pull up their pants, tuck in their shirts & take of hats, hoods & do-rags.
The crazy part of it all is: Usually the other woman videoed & I are volunteers cuz the real teachers on the duty do not come. When the video was shot it was my duty, but no one ever comes to volunteer & help us. The other woman is the type who does everything to help out with the enforcing of rules at school & creating forms & labeling mailboxes in alpha order. Her desk is clean & neat etc. ... she can do it all. She said she is not volunteering anymore.

Ok. my brother & an old friend are both trying to IM me so I'm giving up on typing 3 topics at a time... maybe some thing better next time.

Tonight my daughter & I did something of which most Americans would never dream . We boycotted the Super Bowl. We went to see a movie like we have for several years now. We ended up at "New World" not a blockbuster. I think Hannah & I each whispered more words to each other than the characters said combined. The other 5 people in the theatre did not shush us. A very melancholy movie, one of the few where the protagonist actually dies. Since I read a biography of Pocahontas decades ago, I expected it as soon as John Rolfe came on screen. The biography I read was written in the 60's, maybe 50's & was for kids, so maybe that is why I am still surprised by the "love story" aspect between Pocahontas & John Smith... But I also recall a big hubbub when Disney's horrific history twister came on about how she was only like 12 & he 45 & that they were not lovers.... perhaps I need to do more research to see if this is another "theatrical" historic re-write or if perhaps "Hollywood" actually got that detail correct. The paint & body decor of the Native Americans also did not seem very consistent in style nor cover Pocahontas as much as I expected since many Native Cultures were extremely good seamstresses & sexually modest in clothing as well as behavior. Perhaps I should do more research there too.
As a student of history I really get frustrated when I realize I still have so much more to learn...
Not that I think I know it all. I know I am very ignorant of Europe, Asia, Australia & Africa. Yes, I've taken basic courses in English History, World History, Our Greek & RomanHeritage, Asian religions, "People Of the Pacific" & South American politics. I've even taught World Geography. But with American History, Golly I have read so much beyond the classes I have taken it's ridiculous. Biographies, texts, well researched & not so well researched historical novels, and fiction written way back when the 1700's & 1800's were "contemporary." Probably one of my faults is that I try to know about the spectrum instead of a section extemely well. But I do try to focus on real people & hang them around the famous textbook history. Instead of just the famoust history.

The masters project I did was using historical fiction & non-fiction novels to teach about the life of children in history, & yet I guess I missed a detail of how Native American children would have dressed. I have photo's with each novel of the European American clothing & even some slave & African American styles through history.
Any way.
Time to move on in topic.

My daughter answered the quiz I put on here, she was the third one. Marcia was the first, Karen C second.

I liked all of this Sunday... despite that my kids went to their dad's... & I miss them greatly. Only an hour since I dropped of my daughter. I am only still awake because I took out trash, moved laundry & wanted to send e-mails about my son's missed school work from his illness to his dad..
I got sidetracked on this project & never anticipated being up this late. 4:30 will come mighty early after a week of sleeping almost all day long when my son was ill & so was I.

Well, a long time friend sent this to me & I thought it might be another good way to introduce myself to the world. There is some of my optimism & cynism in it enjoy & comment back if you please....

1. What time is it? 2:00 pm (I'm home sick with my son.)

2. Nickname? Pete, Mom (college friends started it before I had children) & several from childhood I wouldn't mind forgetting

3. Pierced ears? NO & nothing else pierced either now or ever.

4. What is the most recent movie you've seen in the theater? Pride & Prejudice, but I'll be going to see my third in the past 12 months on SuperBowl sunday.. My daughter & I have a standing date, until she succumbs to football insanity, or the Chiefs go & I succumb too.

5. Eye color? no one knows, so the DMV guy about 20 years ago called it hazel, cuz he couldn't figure it out either. It's a mixture of blue, green & brown & which one is dominant varies... don't know why.


6 Favorite food? Have to go plural on this one. My mother's pie & applesauce, my homemade bread, Mozzerrella sticks with good marinara sauce, big juicy (but throroughly cooked well done ) steaks, Janet W's sweet potato casserole, a chocolate cake with cherry pie filling mixed in, and as of Sunday Burger King's Angus burger with bacon & cheese hold the tomato. Ask me next week & the list might be different, except for Mom's pies... I like food.

7. Ever been to Africa? No, only ever got as "foreign" as Canada.

8. Ever been toilet papering? No, but forking yes.

9. Love someone so much it made you cry? Yes, several times & most consistently my three kids.

10. Been in a car accident? Yes, but nothing serious involving another car. Garage Door frames & short cement pillars that hold up light posts that aree missing are another issue.

11. Croutons or bacon bits? both, but I don't like the salad or the dressing usually.

12. Favorite day of the week? I like Sunday mornings with church music & friendly hugs,( but I detest the afternoons as the kids go back to their dad's or come here later than expected.) I usually like all of Monday though.

13. Favorite restaurants? PF Chang's China Bistro, Paisano's Italian, Mad Greek, Jade Mongolian Buffet, & as of Sunday, Burger King with it's Angus Burger,

14. Favorite flower? the kind that come up year after year without me having to mess with them, esp. if I can cut them & put them in a vase. Dried & Silk ones are pretty ok too, but HGTV says they've got to go if I care to be fashionable... & since I just reinstated them after dismantling Christmas you can guess what I think of HGTV fashion gurus.

15. Favorite sports to watch? I don't. Ice skating & gymnastics & diving used to catch my eye, but lately the closest I get is movies about sports: Coach Carter, Hoosiers, Remember the Titans, etc.

16. Favorite drinks? an amaretto with 7up is good on a Friday night, but hot chocolate with cinnamon is good every night for about 9 months of the year here in KS, plain old chocolate milk has to do in the summer.

17. Favorite ice cream? anything deserving of a name like "Death by Chocolate" or like bunny tracks.

18. Disney or Warner Brothers? I don't get this question.

19. Favorite fast food restaurant? Until last week the answer was Arby's, but since that Angus burger last Sunday, Burger King wins hands down.

20. What color is your bedroom? a green with just a bit too much yellow to it to be a pretty sage, or to be a pretty color at all.. as I painted it I just kept hoping it would cure to the sage I wanted. 5 months later I just can't decide whether to move or paint it or totally remodel 1/2 the house.

21. How many times you failed your driver's test? The written one I failed the first time. Those questions about how many feet before________-- do you do _______ got me. I still don't know what a 100 feet looks like, nor a car length. I do count seconds & driveways well. I haven't failed any of the driving ones, nor the renewal tests ever.

22. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? Karen C

23. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? JC Penny or Sears would do the job. But truth be told, I think Wal-Mart & Nebraska Furniture Mart are where I did it since the divorce... Thank God & good credit for 0% financing.

24. What do you do when you are bored? Well, I read, but when even that is boring, I usually just go to bed... getting bored before 9:30 is hard to do.

25. Bedtime? About 9:30 if I'm smart or intelligent.

26. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest? I'd say Janet W, but she sent it to me... so I'll choose Marcia since Messenger says she's actually on line now.

27. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? Good question... I left most of them alone this time.

28. Who are you the most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? the people I sent it to... I didn't send it to most people on my list, not because I'm not curious actually, but because I could not be optimistic about them responding.

29. Favorite TV shows? Until recently West Wing & 7th Heaven. I've seen most of the oldies several times now & the new ones aren't as good. I watch movies more often than series. But that ABC show with Ty building houses is fun to check in on (I don't watch the whole thing anymore), and I usually don't channel surf during Grey's Anatomy & Medium, but I'm not calling them "favorites." cuz if I miss 'em then oh well no biggy & I wouldn't have said that about West Wing or 7th Heaven when they were good.

30. Last person you went to dinner with? Janet W. I owed her for her generosity & emotional support & I just plain enjoy her company.

31. Ford or Chevy? There is a Pontiac in the garage, but I DID NOT choose it: it's left over from the marriage. Ironically the week of buying it was an impetus for the divorce. I wanted then & I want now, a car with AWESOME gas mileage, & he choose a guzzler. I will probably replace it with a Honda, Toyota or a Passat, which were what I was encouraging when he wanted a worse guzzler & I "submitted" to the Pontiac.

32. What are you listening to right now? silence

33. What is your favorite color? for at least 3 1/2 decades I automatically responded blue. But I really don't own much of anything blue anymore. & for the first time in almost 2 decades, I could decorate any room I want any way I want & I didn't pick blue. I think, I'll ponder this one a while.

34. How many tattoos do you have? None

35. How many pets do you have? None. Don't like reptiles, allergic to cats, & a child is allergic to dogs... would be the youngest one too.

36. Do you like children? Yes, except I really dislike their lame excuses for not doing their home work ( I don't mind the real ones, like Mom died, Sister went to the emergency room, etc ) & when they get mad at me when they didn't do their homework. Why don't they get mad at themselves for their lack of effort instead of me?

37. How many people are you sending this e-mail to? probably a couple more than want to receive it.

38. Who is your favorite singer? me. I don't really know that many singer's names, & I don't like everything any of them sing. But I do like all the songs I sing, & the version of me I hear in my head is pretty awesome... & I don't have to hear the version of me that you all hear when I do sing.

39. Ever wish you were some where else? yes & some time else too

40. Ever driven a race car? No, but the Pontiac 's speedometer says it will go 180 & I've pretty much wasted over 55-60% of it's potential.

41. Ever been in a fist fight? Not really, I did get punched in the face a couple of months back, but it takes 2 to fight.

43. Fastest speed you ever driven? Probably around 80, but I don't really recall as 70 is as fast as I usually go now... the Pontiac sucks gas at any thing higher.

Now, here's what you're supposed to do...and please do not spoil the fun.
Copy and paste, then delete my answers and type in your answers. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little known facts about those who know you.
Remember to send it back to the person who sent it to you.

Hello, again.
Oh, what to say, where to start? so much to say but it is already past my bedtime. To get to work on time I get up at 4:30 am. & am on the road between 5 & 5:15. Oh, I could leave later, and do sometimes, but I hate the significantly heavier traffic then. I commute about 45 miles. I used to carpool, but he quit. The stress of the job & the cost of gas for the commute added up to "not worth it" to him, and if I had a new baby like he did, I'd probably have made a similar decision. But my babies are almost grown...yeah, only 7 more years until the youngest graduates from high school... yes I exaggerated on the "almost." And I've caught myself a lot lately telling time like my father did. Here's an example it's 10:10 & he'd say, "It's 10:30! What are you doing out of bed?" Except it really wasn't a question. You know how some people say, "When he says, "jump", we ask, " how high?" Well with Dad, we didn't ask how high, we just jumped as high as we could & prayed it was at least ok; there would be no reassuring, "Well, I know you at least tried your best."
You see, Dad was smart. No, that is an understatement. He thought trigonometry was common sense & geometry was elementary. He seemed to be able to do anything that needed done, and he didn't go online, or watch HGTV to study how first. He did eat quite a bit of pie with the town's old fogeys at the local diner across the street from the hardware store & lumber yard, though. It has occurred to me lately, that Dad just didn't know how smart he was. He just thought the rest of the planet was stupid, and didn't mind letting us know. Oh, I don't recall him calling any one stupid. But the attitude with which he would do things in 5 seconds that we hadn't figured out in 5 minutes, or 50 minutes (if he ever waited that long) let us know. Another comment was, "Just got to be smarter than the average________" & no, bear doesn't fill in the blank. Screwdriver, 2X4, nail, hammer, pvc fitting, lawn mower, lightswitch etc are the words that fill in the blank.
Sometimes I catch myself thinking these things and almost saying them, but I've started making certain that I preface it with, "About now, Dad would say....." & then I let my kids know that I didn't like it, and that whatever they were struggling with can be frustrating.
I learned recently (oh, ok about 2 years ago now, but I just got reminded 2 months ago) that I too am "intelligent." There is an IQ test on tickle. My brother who could & can always beat me at chess & can memorize websites (mostly Conservative Republican ones) that contradict my every thought, was impressed with his score & told me to take the test. I did and beat his scores, which tickled me plenty. I scored in the 90-99% ranges on all the categories. I think my IQ number was 137...(I'm awful at remembering numbers). The results were recently e-mailed to me about the same time when I was going through old boxes after moving & found old Iowa TEsts of Basic Skills results. For being so smart back then... scoring in the 90-99%ile on most subjects, I didn't realize the difference between percentage & percentile. I knew I did well as a child, I just didn't realize I did better than most people. I always felt stupid... perhaps it was being blonde, or perhaps having the father & brother & mother (she could beat all of us at Scrabble any day) I had... Any way. I had learned when I worked for Sylvan Learning Centers that I was intelligent because of an employment test they gave me, but I forgot until recently. And it is easier for me to... dang this is going to sound egotisitical... be more understanding because now I know that the rest of the world is not "stupid" I'm just more intelligent.

Do you see the difference? My dad just thought the rest of the world was stupid. & we felt insulted by it. Now, I never thought the rest of the world was stupid. I just thought they didn't study some of the things I did. & besides I was stupid about lots too. But when I tell kids for the 500th time that their= they own it, and there = not here & they're = they are, I just keep telling myself, "I know that I learned it the first time around, but then I'm intelligent & learn faster. They need more teaching & studying."
Now I don't think I am smart, because there are many things I still do not know. I have students who are very smart about topics I know nothing about. Some are intelligent and others are just average folk. I am very not smart... i.e. am stupid... about current music, current sports, modern actors, fashions, cars etc. I also read too much as a youth and mispronounce many things like Sartre ( it's just Sart, not Sar-tare or so I was told recently). & by golly I've got lots of things I can say about GW Bush, but I can't poke fun at how he says nuclear, cuz though I don't think I say it like him, I don't think I get it right either. "new clee ur"

Tomorrow I go to school for the first time since Monday. My son has been ill & I've had a substitute. I told my son that even if he is still sick, I must go in for a little while. I have to see what they have & haven't done, make worksheets & real lesson plans. Then I can come back home. He has a cold with a fever; he's almost 14. I've shown him the medicine he can take for too much phlegm & the one for too much fever. He is a better cook than I & he knows how to entertain himself with tv, video games & the computer. & yet I feel like a bad mother. .. putting work before child, despite Proverbs describing the good wife as being in the business world. My son declined an offer to see a doctor today, but I've abided by the pediatrician's rule "don't need to worry about a fever unless it's more than 3 days or has an earache with it" for 16 1/2 years now. & tomorrow will be day 3. Well, I need to at least e-mail my ex, and get some sleep, for what ever may come.
Perhaps next time I'll let you read some of my optimistic cynic attitudes, instead of an explanation that makes me sound like a neurotic geeky snob.

Hello World

Well, I'm joining the modern world of people who think their ideas are important enough to let the world read, today. I'm inspired by two friends who've had theirs for years. & yes, they've good enough ideas people ought to read them, but my ideas are very different from theirs. Perhaps I'll learn how to create links to them. Now to see if mine are good enough to attract outsiders into following along.. I think they are, but doubt my ownself.
I not only doubt myself, but doubt all of you guys too, but I wish I didn't. I hope for the best, but expect the worst... thus the name of this thing.

Well, the daughter insists that I drive her to school for a function... We, parents, want our kids to get involved, get hobbies, do things that might get them scholarships, but then yes, we complain about having to drive them to these events.
& the phone rings and none of the teenagers here pick it up.
Enough for a first time out.